The Art and Heart of Yoga
The success of Yoga does not lie in the ability to perform postures but in how it positively changes the way we live our life and our relationships.
~T.K.V. Desikachar
Years ago, as a novice yoga student, I asked my teacher, "How will I know if this is working?" After a thoughtful pause, she replied simply, "Your relationships will change."
That profound response sparked within me a lifelong journey of self-discovery and human understanding—an exploration of our minds, hearts, and behaviors, particularly within relationships.
Through personal experience, I've discovered that true autonomy means freedom from habitual reactions. Nothing triggers these automatic responses quite like relationships, and the more intimate the connection, the more instinctive the reaction. While practicing yogic teachings, I've found it's relatively easy to "be spiritual" during an asana or meditation class, but infinitely more challenging to embody these teachings during life's real tests: managing a stubborn toddler, navigating a misunderstanding with a loved one, or confronting moments of self-doubt.
Yogic philosophy offers liberation from suffering through cultivating what Sanskrit calls sakshi—the inner witness. This witness serves as a direct observer, a consciousness becoming aware of itself, watching our experiences as if viewing a film. With practice, we develop the capacity to be both spectator and conscious participant in our lives.
My first encounters with the inner witness occurred on the yoga mat, where the body provides an accessible gateway to our inner world. I remember moments of sudden awareness: noticing my clenched jaw while forcing a pose, or my tendency to escape to the bathroom to avoid challenging postures. These glimpses of self-observation revealed a previously hidden aspect of myself—a visceral, instinct-driven consciousness that automatically sought immediate relief from discomfort.
Through deeper study of yoga and psychology, I came to understand this aspect of consciousness by its various names: the strategic self, the social self, the primitive self. This universal human trait focuses primarily on self-preservation. Its automated responses typically stem from control, fear, and anger—natural emotions that, left unchecked, can diminish our vitality and damage our relationships. Recognizing this aspect of ourselves marks the first step in transforming relationship into spiritual practice.
Yet awareness alone isn't sufficient.
Awareness enables choice, and choice becomes crucial when life presents its lessons—whether through a cancelled flight or a challenging colleague. In moments when we feel the impulse to unleash our frustration on a gate attendant or coworker, the sakshi provides the inner strength to access a different part of ourselves—the part that remains centered, present, and committed to being constructive. This aspect of consciousness, known as the true or essential Self, seeks harmony, vitality, joy, and collaboration—the emotional experiences that enrich our lives. The spiritual practice of relationship lies in our moment-by-moment commitment to recognize reactivity as an invitation to turn inward and choose life-affirming responses.
At Jane's House, we teach that yoga transcends physical postures. Its essence lies in self-observation and examining how our actions impact ourselves and others.
The heart of yoga is relationship—we are all interconnected.